Tuesday, July 26, 2011

my life according to another.

"hi my name is kaydee joy broadbent and i'm always shufflin'. i be 16 years, 6 months, and 5 days old. i'm a-maiz-ing, i was born that way. i'm super tall and skinnier than any anorexic should be, even though i eat like a 500 pound man. i have curly hair, which i hate and frequently straighten. everyone says i'm asian cuz i have squinty eyes, i think they are idiots"

*many people also say i look english... if you know what that is supposed to mean, shed some light on the subject. because i find it rather confusing.*

"i'm left handed and i will automatically like you if you are too. i'm kind of a clutz, i get hurt a lot. once i tried to cut my baby toe off with a rope. it hurts sometimes.

*i didn't TRY to. just saying.*

"my minds dirty & it don't need cleanin'. i love BEP (black eyed peas) and rave songs. i cant go a day without quoting megamind. i hate snakes and all things bears, and i despise reading unless its the justin bieber book or a trash magazine. sometimes i run into closed doors & windows like my dead dog clifford. i love zac efron, his abs, and when he gets out of the audi R8 in my favorite movie, 17 again. i'm one of his wives, it's like whatever. camee, aubrie, and me are sister wives. zoe mann is my wesbian wover and andrew sheridan is my twin although he got all the brains and i got the... toenails. i love going to hawaii and mexico and playing on the beach. i also love shopping- shwiping my card is the best! sometimes people think me and aubrie look like twins, probably because the are blind & idiots. after gradumication i'm moving to san francisco to go to shool with zoe, camee, and aubrie. naturally we'll be going to starbucks everyday. someday, i'll live in a super cool manor with my hot brown hubby (probably christiaan, because he has abs, already proposed, and is gonna be a surgeon) and cute children. but for now, i work at mcdonalds where they call me skipper and make fun of me for being white. i check out when i'm listening to music and drive shelly around. my butt hurts real bad right now cuz on sunday a hammock fell from the sky and the ground hit me on the butt."

do you think this sounds like my life?
whoever guesses who wrote this is such a winner.